


What I want- What you you want- What's in between

by BlueRam



Category: Naruto
Genre: F/M, Genderbending, Hurt/Comfort, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-14
Updated: 2016-09-14
Packaged: 2018-08-15 01:06:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8036284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueRam/pseuds/BlueRam
Summary: Sometimes it's not a question of what I want, or what you want...sometimes it's merely a question of what already exists, and the road you'll travel to understand and accept it...that is if we accept it at all.





	What I want- What you you want- What's in between

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto**

**Warning: AU ,Gender-bent character (Naruto), doing a little bit of experimenting in terms of writing on my part. Also characters may appear OC as they are from my own adaption and not that of the original creator.**

* * *

It was cold. Crickets sang in a distance, the slight wind rustling the leaves of once still trees, the forest a beautiful orchestra at play. An orchestra that should have soothed the soul, stars twinkling happily, as the market came a life with songs of old, and housewives and their husband made pliant by the sweet sake that burned their tongues and warmed their chests.

Naruto sighed as she looked down at her bustling village, so full of life and happiness, her legs swinging idly from her seat atop the cliff that gave the best view. The people of Konoha had no worries or cares, just sweet enjoyment, content that they were safe. Protected by the hand of the Hokage and his soldiers, sponsored by the fire daimyo and his court. Konohagakure had seen its fair share of war and troubles, yet now the village flourished upon the wings of new peace secured.

A least for now…

"He's leaving again." It was Sakura, Naruto didn't have to look to recognize the soft sweet voice of her…friend? It was funny, after all they had been through; losing Sasuke… she leaving not too long after to get stronger, and Sakura finding her own way…something had changed. They both could feel it, their dynamics were strained, hesitant in a sense…not wanting to step on each other's toes.

Strained…because somehow along the way, training, failing time and time again to bring back her wayward teammate…she had…

Sakura sighed, her stance worn, deep bags under her eyes as she rested her gloved hands on her hip. They were smeared with dirt, her clothes singed in places and her skin shining with sweat. No one would dare say she was the weak link of team seven, she had woken up years ago…realized how much she had let herself slip being caught up in superficial things. Sakura spared Naruto a conflicted stare, biting her lips between her teeth as her fingers twitched nervously at her hip. Giving a sigh again, she none too gracefully sat beside her fellow teammate, her hands braced behind her as she swung her feet lightly, the silence between the two odd.

Naruto wasn't meant to be so silent, broody almost, she was meant to be silly and cheerful, blue eyes filled with so much depth alight with childish wonder. It always amazed her how untouched and unfazed the silly kunoichi could be by their corrupt world, how she could so easily keep demons at bay when even she struggled to keep afloat in the reality their world was. It was ridiculous how unshaken Naruto's will could be, un-phased by anyone…almost anyone.

"He's looking for you you know?" Sakura spoke softly, aware of how much Naruto tensed beside her, how her hands clenched and her clear blue eyes became troubled.

"I haven't seen him for months since his last mission, and the first thing he says to me when we finally meet is, where's Naruto?"

"Sakura I-" Naruto began almost desperately, her blue eyes conflicted and filled with so much guilt.

"I never meant for this to happen! You have to believe me Sakura!" Her eyes watered as her friend continued to look out at the village, children that should be in bed happily running in circles, pulling at their mother's dress tails.

"He just…I just…" Naruto trailed off, looking down at her clenched fist, angered that she couldn't even get her words out. Angered that she felt this way, angered that…

"You don't have to spare my feelings you know…I'm a big girl now Naruto. I don't need you to protect me anymore, it's been a long time since I've ever needed you to protect me." Sakura spoke almost bitterly, her smile contrary to her words, holding so much pain.

None of the two spoke, both lost in their thoughts as the cold wind bit into their skins, goosebumps rising and the crickets continued to chirp merely under the stars. The land of fire had bright and warm weather most days, not even the nights were spared, yet the place had all but frozen over with the little rain that fell in the afternoon. Not surprisingly, everywhere was as dry as a crisp, yet…the biting cold winds were here to stay.

Sakura jumped in slight shock as Naruto suddenly began to laugh, her hand gripping the short tresses of blonde hair that fluttered around her neck, not quite reaching her shoulders. Spikey as it always was, the cut doing much to emphasize the strange mix of fine yet feral features. An exotic beauty many would say, there weren't many like her, small sharp fanged earrings hanging from her ears. A gift from Kakashi…he had all but adopted the girl in his non-existent clan, may his soul rest in peace.

"I just don't get it! Everything was going so well and now it's all falling apart!" Naruto's husky voice cracked, tears giving away for a second before she furiously wiped at her eyes. She wasn't the crying type, yet here she was bawling her eyes out for things that had already gone south. She wasn't this person, she should be jumping around shouting believe it at the top of her lungs! Grinning like a loon, and encouraging her friends to go enjoy the rare day off they had in the village market. It was something she could enjoy now, she wasn't shunned anymore…Konoha didn't see the nine-tailed fox, but instead the happy go lucky girl that believed in everyone.

"It's like ever since Kakashi di…" Naruto trailed off, her loud shout trailing off to dead silence. She could feel the sadness from Sakura, hear the almost silent hitch of her breath, before she sought to control herself, control her emotions.

It's what good kunoichi did…

"Ever since Kakashi died, things changed and…we changed, then _this_ happens!" Naruto glared at her swaying feet.

"Did you regret it?" Sakura's voice was strange, so strange that Naruto couldn't help but look up confused, not understanding where the conversation was going.

"You…that night, Sasuke…did you regret it? Did you regret it when he…when you…" Sakura scowled, hot tears burning at her eyes as she clenched her fist, suppressing her anger and misplaced feelings of betrayal.

"Sa-Sakura I-" Naruto's heart sank, her heart breaking for the girl that was her closest friend, for the girl she hurt with her stupid mistake. How could they have done that to her, how could they just…did she regret it? Her throat dried up, her heart hammering painfully in her chest, threatening to escape its confine and lay her sins bare.

"Do you regret sleeping with Sasuke, Naruto?!" Sakura finally shouted, her green eyes accusing and filled with so much hurt. She knew she was being ridiculous, being unfair even. Sasuke had never shown interest in her, he tolerated her at most…she could even to an extent call herself his friend. But it hurt damn it! It hurt when Naruto came to her frantic one night, both she and Sasuke had been issued a mission and they hadn't returned till very late. Things had gone south, things happened and in the frantic mix of panic, wild emotions they had slept together. She didn't know the specifics, but they slept together, and that's all she needed to understand.

How could Naruto do that?! How could she sleep with a man that she loved so desperately, waiting day and night for him to return when he first defected, hoping that….

Waiting day and night…

Waiting….

That's right, she waited for him to return, but it was Naruto who hunted him down. It was Naruto who never gave up even when her own fate wavered. It was Naruto and Naruto alone that Sasuke ever saw, was the only one he seemed to truly care for in his own detached way.

She was Sasuke's friend…but the many depths and layers he had…she would never come as close to understanding him like Naruto did.

Naruto smiled sadly as she turned away from Sakura, tugging at the crystal bead hidden in her hair, Sakura frowned noting the Uchiha symbol embedded inside the bead.

"That belonged to his mother right? He gave that to you when we were twelve at the _Chūnin_ _Exam_. He expected you to keep it safe…one of the few things left of his mother." Sakura sighed, wiping at her eyes before her shoulders slumped.

"It's not like we love each other or anything. Sakura…I never meant for, I never wanted to hurt you." Naruto spoke softly, losing herself to her thoughts. Did Sasuke feel the same, did his heart ache for hurting their teammate like this…even if what happened between them wasn't planned. It just happened, running for their lives, injured so horribly…thinking that the other would die before they even crossed the land of fire's boarders.

It's not like they loved each other right…?

"I don't think I regret it Sakura, and that's what makes this so hard. I won't lie to you, not now…not ever!" Naruto spoke firmly, her blue eyes piercing into saddened green.

"It's not me, I don't know what to feel about slee-about what happened with Sasuke, but I know I don't regret it, and that alone makes me feel like shit!"

Neither said anything after that, both women staring fiercely at the other, till Sakura cracked a reluctant smile, breaking their stare off. Naruto really was a willful woman, at twenty-four, she had truly grown. She would have made Kakashi proud…she _had_ made him proud, even as he bled out in the blonde girls arms.

"You're my friend Naruto… don't ever question that ok?" Naruto's eyes widen in confusion, hesitant for a second before the familiar grin threatened to split her face. Her blue eyes were glittering with the stupid traitorous tears again ,but even though her shoulders still felt heavy…some of the burden was lifted if only slightly.

"I won't, believe it!" Her voice cracking with emotions, before she cleared her throat, embarrassed at her display. She felt like some civilian girl, with love drama…the only problem was there wasn't any love to speak of...right?

They both stretched out on the cold soil, hands stretched apart and touching ever so slightly, the hustle and bustle of the market below calming as the people began to make their way home. Ninja swooping overhead, mere shadows that vanished in the blink of an eye.

"He would be so proud of you Naruto, he always wanted you to be happy…make up for the time he lost. He will always regret not being their when you needed it you know?"

Naruto smiled, her hand stretched out to the twinkling stars, the image of her sensei and pseudo father as time went by, flickering before her, his one-eyed smile and the stupid pervy book she had gotten him in his hand. She really wished he was here, so she could talk it out…tell him about how crazy her life got in a second, tell him about…

She hope he was happy up there, with her father and crazy mother, pervy sage and his stupid toad face…happy with Obito and Rin, two people he cherished more than any other.

"It'll take time…I'm still angry and hurt, I really loved him you know. I love him even if I don't quite know why I do…he was supposed to be my Sasuke and me his Sakura." Sakura smile was sad, she too reaching for the stars that neither of them could seemingly reach.

"It feels like you took him away, but…I know I never had him to begin with. I just have to figure out that part first and I'll be ok." Sakura turned to smile at her friend, curling into the startled girl's side, as she rested her head atop her chest. Naruto hesitated, before she wrapped her arms around her friend, the smell of sakura blossoms making her giggle, Sakura rolling her eyes amused.

"Sakura…I don't know what to do. Everything is just so confusing and-"

"You should talk to him, I'm sure he'd like that Naruto." Sakura mumbled, feeling strangely content, with her head resting against the gentle swell of Naruto's breast, the feel of cloth binds biting into her cheek.

"Yeah…I probably should."

* * *

"Ah, so you did come after all." Sasuke didn't sound amused, then again he never did. He was stood among the gently swaying grass, his back turned to her as his cloak fluttered about him. Naruto frowned for a moment, coming to stop behind him, a small pouch dangling from her clenched fist.

"Heard they were sending you to lightning country, the terrain is rough up there, I thought you would-" Naruto trailed off as he turned slightly, his coal eyes boring into her own. His stare was always intense, staring into her soul and laying her bare. Literally in a sense, as she remembered the moment he invaded her mind and stood fearlessly before the Kyubi. He raised an eyebrow at her hesitance, managing to irritate her without even saying anything. He knew it too she could tell, a shadow of a smirk on his lips.

Naruto scowled at him before huffing, holding out the pouch for him to take. He looked at it for a moment, silence stretching between the two before he silently took it, his fingers brushing against her heated skin.

"Sasuke look-"

"You've been avoiding me." He interrupted before she could distract him with endless chatter and innocent eyes. At any other time he would oblige her, let her chat away like she always did, drag him around so easily as he secretly held on to every word. Not now though, not when she wouldn't even look him in the eyes after that night. Like they did something wrong, like _he_ did something wrong! He would be damned if he allowed her the chance to walk away from it all…act like nothing had changed the longer they had spent together!

"Sasuke what happened wasn't-" Naruto began fiercely only to once again be cut off as he none too gently grabbed her arm, holding her resisting body against his. His hold were like steel bands, unforgiving and biting into her skin, his glare as fierce as her own, and their faces only a breath away from the other.

"Wasn't supposed to happen you mean! Like hell do you buy that Naruto! It was a long time coming, I know it and you sure as hell know it!" Sasuke shouted, angered by the damn stubbornness and defiance in her blue eyes. The same stubbornness and defiance he had missed at his defection, the same expression when she hunted him down and demanded he return…

The same look as he took her that night, her body writhing under his own, her legs around his waist as she clawed at his back and he bit into the supple skin of her neck. She…she in that moment had awakened something fierce within him…no, not in that moment. She had always been the fuel to his fire, able to drive him to the extremes of emotion in naught but a second, only to soothe them so swiftly and with so much care that he caved under the weight of feeling too much.

Wind and fire could be equal parts beautiful and fierce, yet destructive and devastating if let run wild. Wild like they were…unchained by society as much as Naruto tried her hardest to tie herself down. Be normal and plebian like the rest of them…her heart was too open at times, she didn't realize how much she robbed herself just to make everyone else happy.

"-And what about Sakura huh?! We broke her heart-" Naruto raged, pushing him away with anger, Sasuke stumbling slightly as he stared her down.

"What the hell do I care about Sakura, Naruto?!"

"She's our teammate, she's our friend, she's-"

"She's your friend you mean." Sasuke spoke calmly, his hands clenched to suppress the anger that bubbled under his skin. He just wanted her to wake up! See what was in front of her for once!

Naruto drew short at that, hesitating as she looked into his unwavering gaze, she hated how fast her heart raced. Hated that it hurt so much, that even with Sakura letting go she couldn't love without hurting her. She hated that she purposely blinded herself to what was between them. It was so hard, it had always been there as he said. It was so easy to let go, let him have her, let him take her to worlds she couldn't dream off. That moment she felt whole, his muscled body looming over her's, the way he was fierce at the beginning, unyielding…to suddenly become so soft, careful. Cherishing her and the moment they shared as their bodies heaved with sweat, her hair sticking to his chest as she listened to his heart beat. Forever calm, and steady…like the rock she had once needed, but was strong enough to do without.

But damn how she had loved it, belonging to someone entirely…she didn't have to smile and be the Naruto everyone expected. She could sag in relief, let him take care of her…his strong hands carding through her purposely short hair.

"She loves you Sasuke! You shouldn't just discard her feelings, she can make you happy!" Naruto pushed on.

"And you can't?!" Sasuke shouted incredulous, fed up with this constant back and forth when they both knew this was a front.

"So what I feel doesn't matter then, is that it?" Sasuke sneered.

Naruto froze at that, how selfish was she really? All she could see was the smaller picture, not the bigger one…whenever it came to emotions it was always a fault of hers. She had been getting better, Kakashi strange enough helping her stunted vision. He taught her that not everything would be as rose tinted as she wanted, especially if it involved her. She couldn't control everyone, and she shouldn't wish to.

"S-Sasuke…" She began, looking down at her feet, filled with guilt.

"I love you damn it! I don't know why I even do, because you're so damn frustrating, and infuriating and selfless in the worse way possible! But damn it I love you, funny thing is that I vowed it wouldn't ever be an option for me!" Sasuke shouted. The clearing was silent at his outburst, the wind almost hesitant as it fluttered around shaking leaves.

Sasuke sighed, combing his hand through his longer hair, the wrap around his head shifting out of place for a second before his hand dropped listlessly to his side. He finally walked towards the shaking girl, no one but he had ever seen her like this he thought. She was a fierce kunoichi that little phased. Things like this didn't happen to her, she never had to be forced to confront her continued denial and self-sabotage…hidden under the guise that she wanted everyone to be happy.

He placed his hand on her cheek, the skin hot to touch before he rested his forehead against her own.

"Naruto…don't do this to us. Stop pretending, you forget how easy I see under that grin you wear so readily. I don't regret what we did, if given the chance I'd do it again…I wasn't swept up in intense emotions like you'd like to claim. It would have always been you." Sasuke whispered, a strange smile across his face as he felt her slump in his hold, her hot breath against his neck as her hands tightened in his shirt. She always felt so warm, and contrary to what everyone else thought, she didn't smell like ramen…she didn't smell like anything really.

Like all shinobi were…whisper of shadows among civilians.

"You're right you know…I just didn't want to accept it. I was content with us being friends, close friends and that would be it." She held on tight as she felt his arms circle her waist, it hurt how right it felt, being in his arms like this. They had been through a lot together, she gagging at their first kiss, accidently as it might have been, he kicking her ass when she dared to challenge him. She repaying him the favor the moment she got stronger, the lingering looks and hesitant touches. How he left her…and Sakura, so lost in his revenge; how he returned by his own free will, something unreadable in his eyes as he looked into her own. He had slumped in her hold, the weight of his brother's death by his hand on his shoulders, Sakura hovering outside, hesitant…unsure of how she could fix this, fix him.

"I have to go, any longer here and I'll miss my target by a full day." Sasuke whispered in her short hair, pulling away as he tilted her face to look at him. He leaned down slowly, giving her time to pull away, his lips pressing into her own. She didn't let him leave, her hold on him tight as she deepened the kiss, the soft drag of their lips against the other, warm and with so much promise as she let go of her doubts.

He pulled away again, stepping back as he watched her eyes trained on his lips, his hand twitching to possess her like he so desperately wanted. It wasn't the time for that though, he had a mission to complete, and they could figure it out when he returned.

"In two months…we need to talk Naruto, truly talk." Sasuke's tone brook no argument, his dark eyes daring her to backtrack and deny this. To put them in an endless cycle of doubt and denial…on her part more so than his.

"It's a deal." Naruto grinned, unwilling to name the heavy feeling in her chest as Sasuke smirked in that knowing way he always did, before turning away to begin his journey.

"Sasuke!" She called, the man stopping without looking back.

"I don't regret it either!" She could feel the smile that she couldn't see, the man continuing on his trek.

"And Sasuke! Hurry back ok…I can't do it without you!" She shouted again, eyes twinkling mischievously, watching as he turned to look at her in confusion.

She grinned, a laugh escaping before she gently placed her hand over her flat stomach, watching as his eyes widened.

"I hear Uchiha's from the main line only ever have boys as their first born. So don't take long you bastard, I don't want to pop out your brat and you're not here!" Before Sasuke could even recover from his shock, Naruto twirled on her feet, happily making her way back to the village. She couldn't help but smile in relief, her hand gently caressing where her baby…no their baby rested. Well…babies, if what Kyubi said was right, Tsunade would have to confirm, but it looked like she would be the first of the rookie to have children.

Who would have thought?

"Naruto! Naruto you can't just walk off after dropping something like that on me you idiot!"

"Naruto damn it! Naruto!"

Huh…who knew Sasuke could ever sound so panicked and high pitched, especially with such a deep voice.

Well it was a first for everything she guessed.

"Naruto stop walking away from me you moron!"

"Stupid bastard, don't call me that!"


End file.
